Showing posts with label Elle Macpherson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Elle Macpherson. Show all posts

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Oh My Boobs...

...please accept my apology because i know that i've upset you greatly. Every morning when i wake up and look down at you, i always complain because you're a 14E/36E and in Australia it is pretty difficult to find a sexy, lacy, silky, raunchy bra that can embrace all your curves in all its natural wonders. I complain because i always have to result to Figleaves to compensate myself because they happen to be the only online store i'm aware of that stocks bras from all over the world including France; the country where women are particular about their lingerie and where beauty is created in a bra my size. And the fact that i've ban myself from shopping online at Figleaves until the christmas sale makes it more depressing but from now on, my aim is to shower you with love and adoration instead of complaining about your size and my wish to magically shrink you down to a C-cup.
I'm going to stop complaining because today i saw a picture of Jordan aka Katie Price with a cleavage that looked like two solid rocks stuck to her chest. I'm going to stop complaining because people are paying to have plastic and any other poisonous options to look as luscious as i do and i didn't have to pay a dime. I'm going to stop complaining because today, i discovered that David Jones happens to stock one of my favourite french brands Simone Perele. I'm going to stop complaining because they also happen to have more sizes of Elle Macpherson's bras compared to Myer. I'm going to stop complaining because the anorexic looking girl in the changing room today couldn't fill the cup of her boob tube dress she was trying on at Myer while some guy couldn't help but stare in an obvious manner at the impressive cleavage i was rocking today without the need of chicken fillets. I am going to stop complaining because my cleavage looks better than Dita Von Tesse's and i didn't have to pay for it. I'm going to stop complaining because you help distract attention from all the other parts of my body i'm not in love with. Now all i need to do is save $200 so i can go buy you some Simon Perele and Elle Macpherson bras to celebrate your gorgeousness because you are gorgeous and you are worth it. And no, i am not crazy!!!
Images via Breastenhancementreport.com, Brandweeknrx.com, Adrants.com