Wrong Connections

Ok, this is one of those days where i have something very retarted to say and i certainly have to get it off my chest. By the way, if you're reading this and happen to know me in person, some feedback would be greatly appreciated because i'm on the verge of actually going crazy.

There has to be something particular about me: my nature, physical appearance or attitude that attracts certain kinds of guys towards me. All the guys who've actually had feelings for me had a knack of pissing me off, the very first two i can actually stomach. But the current one, the words to describe the way he manages to piss me off has yet to be included in the dictionary and when i find it, y'all would be the first to know. I've pretty much spent the last 1 hour trying to communicate the fact that i'm not attracted to him nor interested in a platonic friendship with him. I hate forced communications and i hate someone trying to force me to be pals with them. When it comes to any sort of friendship, i like it to take place naturally as opposed to a hair-pulling, hell-raising process.

If the ground could just swallow my phone for the rest of the semester, that would be fantabulous. Even better would be for him to not actually text or call me ever; what would be the icing on the cake would be for me to find the perfect way to let out my frustration without coming across as a stark raving lunatic. All my anger and stress is all pent up in my stomach, it works just like food, the more you eat the more it goes down and settles in your tummy. The only difference between this and food is that it doesn't actually get recycled. But on a more serious note, there has to be some sort of reason as to why i attract guys that annoy the f**k out of me. They always seem to be perfectly convinced that they can talk their way into my heart by quoting parables and assuming that because i've got the same skin colour and the same national background, they are destined to have the best shot at my heart.

I hate guys who feel like i'm their entitlement and what's worse is when they don't even know how to talk to you. No idea in what your interests are, misunderstand every possible form of nice conversation used to get the point ahead. I used to be really cruel and i could spit my words like daggers straight out of my mouth and into someone's heart. But now i'm trying to be more of a lady and more mature because i know my words can lead to the emotional murder of someone.

I'm not puke cute or hot or in your face. I'm the one at the back of the class who doesn't want to answer too many questions so i don't draw attention to myself. I also know all the things that i definately don't want and have a basic idea of the things that mean the most to me and have the possibilities of making me happy. Barbie doesn't reside anywhere near me and most likely would not be welcome in my home. So exactly what is it that draws these luni-beans towards me. This post shows nothing of how frustrated i am right now, if anything....it is just the tip of the iceberg floating on the surface of the ocean with the main damage submerged in water.

Y'all have a good night. I might be needing a double shot of extra hot mocha tomorrow to get me through the day without hurling profane words.

Source: Photo