It might just be Monday but i already feel worn out and tired. The stress of the previous week has managed to roll itself onto this week and the morning didn't start as bright as the sun shorne today. I feel stagnant, worn out and 'spent'! Yes, the word SPENT is a new term that has been coined by one of Gwyneth Paltrow's health gurus or whatever he calls himself. It is a word used to describe the feelings of being tired eventhough you've just woken up from an 8 hour long sleep, constantly feeling lethargic and craving sugar in the middle of the day, being very irritable and finding it difficult to wind down eventhough you're very stressed out.
I have to admit that i have all these symptoms. I actually managed to sleep for 8 hours last night but when i woke up, i felt like i'd only had a nap which started the angst of the day. This was quickly followed by the irritability of a girl pissed off at the score she got in her assignment and the layout of one of the apartments we viewed on Saturday. To even make matters worse, we wouldn't be viewing any more properties as the whole process has been physically, mentally, emotionally and psychologically draining!!! So i guess it's back to the drawing boars...only this time, the house hunting would be done solo and involves searching for a room in an already established accommodation. I wish i could say i'm excited by the prospect but unfortunately, i ain't.
It's not all bad news though! I didn't reach for a bar of chocolate ladden with lactose poisoning during this treachorous time, but i feel the burden in my chest. It's like a pound of cement has been laid to fill the void in my heart and it is millimetre perfect!
It would be a great and gladly welcomed relief for tomorrow to be much better than today. The best i can do is hope for the best because getting pissed off about it just makes matters worse. And the fact that concrete is polluting means that the more stressed and upset i get, the more strain is placed on my emotions. I really envy those who are able to express their feelings, deal with it and just move on. I happen to be the opposite; crying doesn't come naturally to me neither does yelling. I tend to supress my feelings and just let it eat me all up; what i'm very good at doing is hating and not forgiving. It's like a special brand of white wine reserved just for me.